I used to take pride in the fact that no matter what shit lifes throws at me, i'll be able to avoid it...Not so sure about that anymore... Finding it difficult to pick myself up from the floor i seem to struggle with "life's daily pleasures", loosing my way. It doesn't often happen to me to not know where my head is at, say the least where my heart is at... It is so hard to figure out my destination and all i want is to be left alone. My mind is so fucking numb, i just can't get around myself, and it seems that no matter what i do, something inside me yells "i know i can help you...i just don't fucking want to!". Those who know me can confirm the fact that i am used to having what i want... And now i'm blinfolded and racing towards a wall! I feel like (and this is a quote from Metallica's "This was just your life") a blind man strapped into the speeding driver's seat...
Those who read this, might be wondering by now what the fuck is wrong with me, and why this state of mind! Well, does it really matter? Do you really care? OOOF course it doesn't and you don't ;) go bullshit someone else! Before anyone can start making presumptions, i'm ok with my life, i'm ok with what i struggle for, i'm ok with what i study and i'm ok with my job...it's me i'm not ok with...
I'm down, because i'm high... She who knows might understand! But she who knows reads not my blog...:))
Surrownded by light, but driven into darkness...
You don’t realize what you do to me. I don’t think you understand how one touch, look, word, or smile from you can drive me out of my mind.
If you never try
Then you'll never know
The grass could be greener (could be)
And it will always be greener on the other side
But you.. just never (never) know
"Being a slave, what should i do, but tend upon the hour and times of your desire?"