40 tips to life!

First of all, i think i must apollogize to the few readers that i might still have, for my absence...time is...short, so i'll try to keep writing once in a while....


   Well...how about few tips towards making life...say...better, easier...whatever you like...

1. so...first of all...if you have problems waking up, or youre that heavy hang-over type of person, mix your coffee with vodca. it's a real buzz
2. during winter, put the toilet paper on the heater, before you wipe your ass.
3. don't drink and drive (i mean alcohol)  D.U.I sucks
4. never clean the top of your shoes on the back of your pants...you never know what you may find there
5. don't put your phone in your backpockets, you might sit on it...ooor even worse, you might shit on it!
6. don't ask a girl to tie your shoe laces...it will be awkward if you see her panty line and get a boner!
7. don't write your name on the inside of your undearwear..that's fucked up!
8. make the most out of your free time, get a fucking hobby, read books...
9. don't stab people in the back...the look on their faces is so much more worth the effort!
10. if you do stab people in the back...make sure they don't see you.
11. don't blame other people for your mistakes
12. don't add milk to your tea! totaly spoils the tea!
13. don't shit in public places, like fast-food restrooms, fancy restaurants bathrooms...
14. wiskey.
15. beer.
16. more beer!
17. cigarretes won't work when you are down.
18. sex will!
19. dont cheat on your girlfriends...
20. read no.19 again!
21.got the point about 19? no? read it again!
22. ladies...don't spit
23. mind your money...poor people might not be so poor as you might think
24. never hit a policeman
25. unless he's alone
26. stop thinking about size...there will always be someone who's dick is bigger, or smaller than yours :))
27. it might help to always have an extra t-shirt with you
28. in case someone vomits on your t-shirt
29. read no.19 again!
30. if you ever go to an urologist and he asks for a sperm sample, no matter how muck it hurts you, do it yourself! never let him help you!
31. never tell your best friend who you've been sleeping with!
32. never sleepwith your best friend...no matter if it's a he or a she...ok..if it's a she, it might work...but if if you are both guys....do not!
33. long distance relations don't work, period!
34. never question me! i am smarter! i am better, i am always right!
35. this should no be a guide to life!
36. but follow it step by step!
37. it's fun to drink and piss at the same time...without hands...master that and your friends will love you!
38. keg stands, never tried one.
39. reverse pull-ups, they really do wonders to your back
40. music! live your life on music. enjoy music. make it your god.